Me -- terminally cute and perky when I'm not
being a ranting bitch. The cheerful demeanor usually breaks down
when I'm driving in Dallas traffic (otherwise known as the ninth
level of Hell) and I start swearing like Eddie Murphy in "Harlem
Nights." You'd never think it to look at me, would you?
Lyndon (aka
the Bodacious Brit) -- my husband, my first-line tech support
and the man who rubs me after my workouts. Also a brilliant photographer
and beloved of our cats, and when his blood sugar drops below
a certain point he develops a loony sense of humor that usually
has me widdling myself.
Patrick (aka
the Nathan Lane of Mid-Central Illinois) -- my best friend
for, gosh, 23 years now. Patrick is an established player in
the dinner theater scene around Bloomington/Normal/Peoria, Illinois,
and is available for weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, and any production
of "Forever Plaid" he can get his hands on.
Stacy (aka "MOOOOOOOOOM!") -- my
sister, and the one who got all the verbal wit in the family. Short,
funnier than hell, has three kids, lives in Illinois where she
makes fun of the other suburbanites. I don't see her nearly often
enough.
Steve (aka
the Man from McKinney) -- my most excellent friend, fellow
fen and general partner in crime. I used to carpool with him
to work, and damn, the man could drive. Of course, my
nails were usually left in his upholstery, but still. . .
Mike (aka "Hollywood")
-- my favorite turquoise-eyed nephew, nose tackle and all-around
cool relative. Even if he did manage to do bizarre things to
his iBook (such as breaking the power supply by tripping over
it). Lyndon says that he can never be allowed to breed with Tina
-- the result would be the technological Antichrist.
