Tuesday,
January 29, 2008

Little calmer today, thank you

It helps that one friend suggested that I send Lyndon back to the optometrist's office to force feed a cheesecake to Miss Bitch.

I still can't believe she said what she did. When I told him about it, my best friend Patrick said, "It's because you're such a little ray of sunshine yourself, that you're taken by surprise when someone else is a douche. It's true. You've been like that since high school! Many's the time I've looked at you and thought 'she has no clue what an asshole that person is,' only to watch it dawn on you 15 minutes later."

Which is true. I like to give people the benefit of a doubt -- it's bitten me on the hiney more than a couple of times, but it's just the way I roll. On the upside, I have managed to avoid complete and utter bastards along the way, so at least that's something.

The thing is, I've actually gotten flack before for being nice. "Oh, you're too nice," "you don't have a spine," etc. What they don't understand is that being nice is NOT easy -- in fact in some cases it's damn difficult. But, agnostic Deist that I am, I honestly believe in "do unto others..." and I think I've reaped the benefit of this mindset over the years. The downside is that I occasionally have to deal with assholes, but very few people go through lives without having to deal with them, so whatcha gonna do?

Eh. In the end we all die anyway. I don't like to waste time on stupid mishigas, so I'll just find a new ophthalmologist.

On a more amusing note

I just found some pictures of my community theater life which y'all may find this amusing -- back in the day I was cast as the Gatekeeper of Oz in a production of THE WIZ (an all-white version. In Northwest Indiana. At an outdoor gazebo in a park. Yeah, it was interesting...) where the costumes had been designed, if you can call it that, by the bitchiest hairdresser this side of Rodeo Drive. For my costume, I was told to make a green suit jacket and trousers, and wear a green bowler. That was it. I ask you.

So I dolled it up some with satiny material, epaulettes, sequins, dark green satin ribbon down the pantlegs tuxedo-style and lots and lots of shiny green braid, plus green glitter shoes, shown at left.

Hey, I had a secretary's income at the time -- this was as glitzy as I could afford. Hairdresser, however, reacted as if I'd spit in his setting gel for daring to use anything sparkly without his direct permission. We did not get along after that, to the point where my hair (waist-length at the time) once came out from under my hat during a rehearsal and he told me if I didn't tuck it in he'd cut it off. I informed him that if he came near me with a pair of scissors a surgeon would be required to remove them from his lower intestine.

The set crew, who loathed him even more than I did, applauded and later awarded me a handle from the gate at the wrap party, which I still have hanging in my office.

And God, but my hair was long in those days...

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