Friday,
February 29, 2008
LEAP DAY

My kitchen...is clean

Granted, I finished at 2:18 AM, plus I had a forced break of five hours this evening when Lyndon was napping before his night shift (the kitchen shares a wall with the master bedroom, so I spent that time writing), but by God it is clean, the floor is no longer adhesive, you can see all the flat surfaces and even the windows are clear.

I figure it'll last a day or so.

You little bastard

God DAMN it, that's IT. Jordan is no longer allowed to sprawl across my boobs.

Since we first got him, the idiot cat has liked to sit on the Chesterfield, as I refer to my cleavage (so sue me, I'm easily amused). Idiot cat is also easily startled by, oh, pretty much anything, and uses the nearest chunk of flesh as a launching pad, sinking his claws into said flesh for added traction. Thanks be to Bast, the nearest chunk of flesh is usually my right shoulder, and I already have a three-inch-long gouge that may well turn into a scar from his last launch a couple of weeks ago.

And then last night, as I was innocently reading news and Jordan was on the Chesterfield, there was a soft bang -- I'm guessing JJ knocked one of the remotes onto the floor. Jordan promptly did his best impression of a Titan booster rocket and added three new gouges (one which is already BRUISING) to my shoulder.

Naturally, I howled in pain. Cursing may also have been involved. Lyndon came in from the kitchen to see what was happening just as JJ, the Great Black Hunter and Protector of Momma, launched into action and cornered Jordan behind the recliner, hissing at him in what I can only assume is Cat for "I told you, pendejo, you touch her again and I'm gonna cut you. Now you gonna die."

Jordan started yowling back, so I finally had to pick up JJ and reassure him that I'm not dying, he doesn't have to kill Jordan, everything is all right. He spent the rest of the evening perched on the back of the sofa throwing filthy looks at the idiot cat, who was sitting near the recliner with a very obvious, "What? What'd I do?" expression.

I'm starting to think we have the wrong cat on drugs. But it's nice to know that if anyone ever tries to hurt me, JJ will eff him up, but good.

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