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Saturday,
March 11, 2006
A pleasantly busy Saturday
Lessee -- the bedding is currently churning its way through the washing machine, Lyndon cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the joint while I filed a great deal of paperwork and got things partially set up for the CPA (I need to generate some spreadsheets tomorrow), I contacted two registrars in preparation for moving a client's website from the morons who are currently hosting their site (when a salesman from the hosting company hangs up on you because "you're too small for me to be bothered with," it's definitely time to go), checked the mail, and did a huge stock-up food shop.
As a reward for being so productive, not to mention finishing the book earlier this week, we are going to have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and see ULTRAVIOLET afterwards. Yes, I know it's an utterly cheesy movie -- I don't care. I'm not going because it'll engage me intellectually -- I'm going because I want to see a live-action anime figure do impossible stunts and kick mech-suited solder ass. It could be one long fight scene and that would be dandy (although Lyndon mentioned that I'd be even happier if Milla had signed a contract after THE FIFTH ELEMENT that would require the producers to hire Ian Holm as her sensei/comic foil. Which is true).
Tomorrow will be dedicated to a final barefoot run through our tax docs in preparation for them being delivered to the CPA, cleaning of the foyer, stairs, bedroom and bathrooms, and some contract work (my ex-boss who keeps funneling this stuff to me said, "You're going to be one rich tired person"). Hell, maybe I'll even write, although the mental agreement to do at least 1,000 words a day during the week in return for the weekends off does seem to be working out rather nicely.
Yet another silly movie where Milla Jovovich kicks ass whilst looking lovely
The
best way I can describe ULTRAVIOLET is
that it's a live-action anime movie, right down to the improbable fight scenes
and dubiously translated dialogue. Whereas THE MATRIX was a live-action Miyazaki
film, however, ULTRAVIOLET is more along the lines of ARMITAGE or GUNSLINGER
GIRL -- check your logic at the door and just try to enjoy the big bada booms.
The general plot -- when the government isolates a virus that causes vampirism and tries to boost it in order to produce supersoldiers, the virus accidentally gets loose and starts infecting the populace. The infected people, called hemophages, are slowly rounded up into camps, where they disappear. Some hemophages remain on the loose, form guerilla groups, and start fighting back against the government. They have the additional problem that the HPV virus, while giving them superior strength, reflexes and healing ability, also drains their metabolism at a prodigious rate, giving the average hemophage a lifespan of 12 years from onset of infection.
Violet is a hemophage who is getting close to her 12-year limit, and who has a serious chip-on towards the government because her husband was killed and her pregnancy forcibly terminated when she was infected. She's been assigned by her cell to steal an ultimate weapon that will supposedly destroy all hemophages -- and runs into an oh-so-slight conflict of interest when the weapon turns out to be a young boy close to the age of her lost child.
If you've seen any anime within the last five years (hell, if you've seen any action or western flick that features a kid in jeopardy), you can guess what happens next. The fun about this movie isn't its plot -- it's achingly predictable, and the dialogue prompted Lyndon to comment that they really shouldn't have written the script in Chinese and then translated it to English. What's fun is watching Milla Jovovich in a variety of skin-tight outfits kicking the shit out of a variety of mech-suited soldiers, aided by some rather nifty toys such as flat dimension technology (she can pull guns and swords out of an artificially compressed dimension) and a gravity leveler (which allows her to choose which surface is "down" at any point, meaning that she can steer a motorcycle up, down and alongside the outside of buildings). In the supporting cast is a besotted William Fichtner who still manages to enunciate despite his fangs, and Cameron Bright as the child/weapon 6 contrubutes his usual air of disappointed gravitas to the action.
In addition to the wire work, impossible fight scenes and odd hair color choices you'd expect to see in anime, the production company also borrowed heavily from SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW's greenscreen techniques for ULTRAVIOLET's backgrounds. This resulted in some very pretty cityscapes and some extremely weird closeups on Jovovich that made it look like she had no nose -- then again, that just added to the whole anime feel. All in all, it was exactly what I expected and wanted to see, so I can't say I'm disappointed. Just don't go in expecting to see THE MATRIX, or even UNDERWORLD.