Novel Stats:
| Words Today | 0 |
| Words Total | 98,500 |
Short Story Stats:
| Written | 2 |
| Submitted | 2 |
| In Circulation | 1 |
| Rejected | 0 |
| Sold | 1 |
Tuesday,
March 8, 2005
A multi-phasic rant
1) Why is it that when I have to maneuver around a slowpoke on the way to work, he immediately takes it as an insult to his masculinity and does his damndest to pass me up? Because if I'm ahead of him, it must mean that he doesn't have a penis, right?
2) Why do I have to sit near someone who grunts, sighs, moans, breathes heavily and generally sounds like he's performing hard manual labor when I KNOW all he's doing is answering trouble reports? You don't even want to know what he sounds like when he has a cold.
3) Laurel K. Hamilton -- what the buggering hell is WRONG with her? I KNOW she can write a decent yarn -- I really enjoyed the early Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter books. So why has she decided to throw plot and character development out the window with the Merry Gentry series in favor of long, loving descriptions of what Merry's Sidhe guards are wearing, what color their skin, hair and eyes are, how long and lean they are, and how good sex is with them? Look, I of all people will not turn down a nice juicy sex scene, and her descriptions are marvelous -- but her descriptions also comprise 95% of the bloody book. It's mainly icing and damn little cake, and unrealistic icing at that.
4) Laurel K. Hamilton, Part Two -- and in the latest installment, Merry is now having sex with 16 males (twelve Sidhe, three half-goblins and one demi-fey) on a rotating basis, in a desperate attempt to get pregnant before her cousin Cel is released and can trump her by knocking up some Sidhe chick and claiming the Unseelie throne. Now, Merry is part human (as well as part Sidhe and part brownie), and she has what I must presume is a human reproductive system, as evidenced by the line where she comments how she just finished bleeding her chances away at a baby. So why doesn't she just use the 14 day rule, add a day on either side and nomp away like rabbits DURING those three days? If there's no egg present, no amount of wigglers will knock her up, and quite frankly I'd rather see her spend less time screwing and more time, oh, I dunno, being a private detective.
Bah. I wave my paw.