Monday,
January 19, 2004
Appropos of nothing
Heya. Sorry about being AWOL for the last five days, but not only has there been nothing to write about, I haven't really felt like writing. Don't feel like much right now, as a matter of fact -- I'm not sick or anything, I'm just. . .I dunno. Shut down. I keep waiting for something to catch my interest or perk me up, and nothing happens. I mean, shit, I actually pulled out a sweater that I started eight years ago and added a couple of rows today (which in itself is kinda pointless, seeing as I don't have enough yard to finish it and purchasing more would require buying a full bag of Patons Shetland Chunky (purple variegated) from Canada, which I can't really afford right now). Oh, and I started work on Auntie Esther's chuppa square, which is a good thing, seeing as it's due in February.
Lots of things are due in February -- the chuppa square, my essay for the Stargate antho, a contract project I'm doing, yadda yadda. So it's not like I don't have anything to do -- I just don't have any enthusiasm for any of it. Don't want to sleep, don't want to do anything (especially exercise, and I feel three feet wide as a result), don't want anything.
I dunno -- maybe what I really don't want is to think about the future anymore. Or at least not right now. Which is perfectly reasonable, considering that the future holds a lot of scary shit in it at the moment -- dubious finances, the tax return, the political situation, etc. I just don't see anything positive to hold on to right now, which, quite frankly, makes for a depressing and more than somewhat boring journal entry
But I need to say
something, so that you all know that I'm still here. I'm still here. Just quiet
for now.