Thursday,
March 14, 2002

Wanna see?

Yes, this is the beloved beast who has been making my mornings such a joy this week. My neighbor took great pride in telling me that they've never let him out to run. Well, Cthulu knows he's been running this week, for fifteen minutes every morning and at least an hour every evening. I think Lyndon is full-blown gonzo confused about a dog that doesn't like to play catch, won't eat jelly beans and doesn't seem to recognize other dogs as members of the same species.

I understand this perfectly. Pooch thinks he's a human. Oh, sure, he gets excited when he smells a bitch in heat (and Lyndon says that he keeps getting inappropriate stiffies when he goes to the park and finds traces of them all over the place, which is a special experience for Lyndon -- "Yes, that's my dog, the one with the hard-on"), but when it comes down to us Pooch really wants to be putting on shoes, getting his driver's permit and hanging out with the rest of the dudes down at the Blockbuster.

He's laying on the floor in my office at the moment, panting and staring at the window. We just came in from a walk, and he piddled over everything and make a nice big crap so I know he doesn't have to go out again no matter how much he whines. I just told him no -- I swear, he sighed as he laid back down on the floor again.

Oh, yeah, that was a sigh. "Mom won't let me go out, and I don't know why -- I'm an ADULT, for cripe's sake! This is so unfair. . ." Lyndon says that the reason why he wants to go out so much is that he's unsnipped, healthy adolescent dog and basically wants to go out so that he can piddle on some more things, which is his way of letting the female dogs in the neighborhood know, "Hey, ladies, I'm here, I'm healthy and I'm horny -- come on over!"

Yeah, I can just see that now, "Pooch, NO! Get OFF that wiener dog, dammit!" And then the owner sues us for damages and we have to take a bunch of half-Schnauzer, 1/4 Chow and 1/4 Golden Lab puppies. Oy.

However, there seems to be happy movement on the "Let's Find Pooch a Permanent Home" horizon -- I just talked to my neighbor, and she said that she'd spoken to a couple who had just lost their dog and was interested in adopting Pooch. She's going to come pick him up on Sunday (which means Saturday I have to make sure he has a bath, is brushed and has his paws trimming, and generally looks like the beautiful pooch he is), and take him over there to see if they click.

Oh, God, I hope so. He's a good puppy, but this early morning thing is starting to chap my nads.