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Wednesday,
September 26, 2001
I didn't
know Vulcans got nipple erections outside of Pon Farr
 The
things you learn.
As should be
pretty bloody obvious, yeah, I watched Enterprise
tonight. For those of you who aren't into the whole Star Trek phenomenon,
this is the fifth series in the Star Trek pantheon, and the two-hour
premiere was tonight.
Unfortunately,
I'd forgotten that little nugget of information due to a preoccupation
with trying to control both the size AND appearance of browser windows
for some help pages I'm trying to create (I know how to control
the size with onload="window.resizeTo(550,600) in the
BODY tag, but I'm also trying to eliminate everything but a scroll
bar on the same window -- if anyone can suggest how to do this,
please let me know).
So it was 6:45 PM CDT when a friend of mine AIMed me and asked why
I was still at work.
Shit. I think
I set a new land speed record for getting from Irving to Plano.
Despite that, I missed the first half hour and most of the initial
character development, so I'm still a bit clueless about Dr. Phlox
(although his delivery makes him sound like he just stepped off
the Tardis, which is kinda cool) and this general tension between
the Vulcans and the Humans. But hey, that's what reruns are for,
anyway.
 So
let's talk about the important things about this latest offering
from Berman and Bragga -- the detox scene and Scott Bakula's underwear.
Oh. Oh, my.
It looks like
Star Trek has finally escaped puberty with Enterprise, judging
from the long, lingering shots on Jolene Blalock and Connor Trinneer's
bodies while they rubbed each other down with that disinfectant
goop. My only complaints about this scene (and they are almost
embarrassingly anal-retentive, really) are:
- Wouldn't
they have to smear that goop all over, including beneath the underwear?
I'm not being prurient here, honest -- it would just seem to be
proper antiseptic procedure. It would. In that case, they
should just be brave and do without the underwear in cutaway and
back shots (like anyone in the audience is gonna object).
- I didn't
think Vulcans were supposed to get nipple erections outside of
Pon Farr, but who knows -- that detox chamber might have been
kinda chilly.
And then we
were treated to the sight of Scott
Bakula limping around the captain's quarters in some incredibly
sleek royal blue skivvies. One thing I have to say about Enterprise
-- at least this show offers equal-opportunity eye candy.
In
closing, I feel it appropriate to note that someone has already
thought of the possibilities of, ahem, "detoxification"
and has written the first Enterprise
slash. I don't know who this woman is, but she's my new personal
heroine.
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