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Monday,
May 7, 2001
In which
I have a moment of unusual clarity
I
think I just had an epiphany. A very weird epiphany, admittedly,
but an epiphany nonetheless.
I was watching
"Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" (don't ask), the episode where
he was chatting with Mr. Feeley while clambering around the set
on a pair of stilts, and I was idly remembering the early days of
the show when I was an impressionable child and thought he was just
the coolest thing on toast.
I abruptly realized
just how impressionable I must have been, because it finally hit
me after 34 years -- one of the specific "looks" that
always make me sit up and pay attention to a man is straight dark
hair, fair skin with a bit of 5 o'clock shadow, big soulful eyes,
a moderately weak chin and a lanky body.
Oh, my God.
I wanted to jump Mr. Rogers.
The scream startled
some grackles roosting outside my window, and I had to hyperventilate
for a few moments before I could get myself back under control.
There's no way I can plausibly deny this -- there are too many boyfriends
and objets d'squidge in my history with this exact look. Now I understand
why I developed this incredible disdain for the show as I got older
-- my pubescent mind couldn't handle the concept of lusting after
someone who constantly asked, "Can you say that?"
and played with a magic trolley, and just shut down the entire concept.
Of course, now
that I'm older I can appreciate just what the man did for children's
television -- he was a pioneer in producing shows that were entertaining,
non-preachy while promoting values like tolerance and individuality,
and a safe haven for kids exposed to ever-increasing levels of media
and real-life violence. Productions like Veggietales and Sesame
Street owe a definite spiritual debt to MRN. And you have to admit,
the jazz piano soundtrack to the shows was really a nifty touch.
But. . oh, God,
I still have a hard time assimilating this. Talk about the ultimate
substitute parental-figure -- it's like wanting to And here I'd always thought that the sarcastic
yet babelicious teacher from high school was the one who set the
mold for my adult sexuality -- turns out he just added the final
trimmings. In my secret heart of hearts, I wanted to grow up and
marry Fred Rogers.
Whoa. . .
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