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Saturday, Crazy. . . Sometimes the magic surprises you. specially on nights like this one. You don't know it's out there lurking around in the darkness, waiting for you to step out of the house on an errand or a trip to the mall, and suddenly wham, there it is. It smells so good out there tonight. I wish there was some way I could package it up and deliver it to you along with this entry. The weather is warm and just slightly humid, enough to carry scent in the air. To me it's the smell of rain and a touch of ozone, growing green things, spring and sex and creativity and life. I love it. I walked out of the fitness room tonight and just stood there, soaking it all in as my sweat soaked out. Clouds were chasing each other across the moon, and that beautiful scent was in the air, and I wanted to go out dancing just to take part and celebrate it all. I'm a little giddy, I think. But it feels so fucking good. Ever since I got here, I feel like I've been cut out of an invisible cocoon and fluid is finally pumping back into my wings, lifting them into the wind. In lieu of dancing the night away, the Dave Matthews Band is growling around the room like a tomcat looking for a tabby in heat, and streams of cool fresh air are streaming across my face from the open windows as I type this with a manic grin on my face. That smell. That gorgeous smell. Scents go straight to my midbrain and stimulate it in ways nothing else can even touch. The smell of Lake Michigan at night is a budding sex drive and an inarticulate craving for a man I could never have. Wintergreen car freshener is the time I drove to Montreal to spend that first week with Lyn. The smell of spring is primal joy bursting through the civilized veneer, begging me to come out and dance under the moon. I love it. I truly do.
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