Nekkid, Clueless and Feelin' Good: April 27, 2001

Friday,
April 27, 2001

Might as well enjoy it while I have it

So, let's see -- how did I spend my first full day as a layoffee? It was actually pretty cool -- I slept until 10:30 am, had a lovely mid-morning phone chat with Lyndon, got dressed and mailed a whole bunch of things, went to go see Bridget Jones's Diary again, stopped off at Home Depot on my way back and picked up everything I would need to stain and finish the dresser that's been sitting in the garage lo these past few months, did a workout, did some work on the book, ate astounding amounts of ice cream (hence the need for the workout), watched a few movies and talked to Lyndon and Patrick some more. All in all, it was a lovely, calm day, and I only called down Old Testament curses on the head of TBS five or six times, which is an improvement on yesterday.

And while we're discussing jobs, I checked out the assorted job URLs floating around there -- the outplacement people suggested not sending out any resumes until they've been through the tweaking process in next week's seminar, so I just bookmarked the most promising. Dice.com was the most heartening -- there seem to be a slew of technical writing jobs in the greater Dallas area, and a smaller but still impressive number of web designer jobs, and most of them seem to be in my salary range or better. Wouldn't that be a kick in the head? I get laid off by TBS, only to get a job within the six-week severance pay period at a better salary -- hell, I'd wind up coming out of it with money in the bank and enough time to finish WKQA and get a serious start on POP.

However, no, I'm not going to thank them for this opportunity -- I understand why they hustle people out of the building during a layoff, but in my case it was done with little tact and no sense of empathy. I think that's what pisses me off the most about the whole situation. Just a drop of honest sympathy would have been nice, instead of getting the feeling that I was an unpleasant task (which, as a matter of fact, I was) that should be done with as soon as possible.

Bah. I wave my paw. When the Dogbert New World Order comes about, I want a sub-continental dictatorship for this, at least.

On a more serious note, I've also been thinking about the general sense of hurt (and there is a physical hurt associated with something like this, a glancing but hard body blow) that comes when you get fired or laid off. I think it has something to do with humans as a tribal species (some may say "herd" species, and after watching American TV for the last few months I'd have to give them some credit). At the root of it all, we evolved from apes that lived in troops, and early humans gathered together in tribes. Most of us instinctively feel more comfortable when we belong to some sort of group, be it a clique, a club, or a company. When we're cut from the group, it causes a primal fear that's separate from the anxiety over paying the bills or finding a new job. This fear can't be reasoned with or glossed over because your hindbrain is whispering that you've now vulnerable. You don't have your tribemates to fight by your side anymore when the predators come. You're alone.

And I think that's what hurts the most.

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