Meanderings: September 18, 1999

Saturday,
September 18, 1999

Well, this is interesting. Either my internal clock is still off a bit, or my body is really taking the dare seriously, because I actually woke up around 8:00 am this morning.

Okay, so that doesn't sound impressive. But you're reading about Snooze Woman here -- I take weekends as my God-given time to sleep until I damn well feel like getting up (actually, I think it's a knee-jerk reaction to my mother shagging me out of bed on the weekends when I was a kid. Somewhere in my little knurled cerebrum, part of me must have snarled, "Oh, yeah? well, just WAIT until I'm a grown-up -- then I'll sleep as long as I want to! I'll sleep till NOON if I feel like it! Fourteen hours at a stretch! Ha! And nobody will be able to stop me! HA!). But as far as I can tell, my body felt like getting up this morning at a reasonable hour. Astounding.

Oh, God. Does this mean that I'm turning into a grown-up? I mean, I keep doing all these sensible things -- I want a car, but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it since we'll only be here for another year (if that). I've stared with longing at an electric guitar, then turned around and bought linens. I'm actually looking at mutual funds and thinking, "Hmm, you know, that sounds like a good idea." Now I'm going to sleep at reasonable times and getting up before the crack of noon. Oh, Lord -- Adulthood(TM) is indeed making its presence known, at the ripe old age of 33.

Now, I'm in two minds about this. Part of me is kicking its heels on the floor and screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOOO! It's too soon -- I don't wanna grow up yet! I'll hold my breath and turn blue if anyone asks me to take responsibility for stuff! Waaah!" Luckily, another (much calmer) part of me is sneaking up on this inner brat and saying, "Honey, it's okay to feel that way. Adulthood is tough, and it can be scary at times, but it can be a lot of fun, too. Besides, you've got to be the responsible one if you want to have kids -- it's not fair to delegate that kind of baggage onto them. You, of all people, should know that."

I wonder if it's possible to develop an internal mom. It seems so, which is probably a good thing. Now the burning qustion is, can I get her to do my laundry?

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